Both Can Be True

Fall is my favorite time of year AND it is also typically the time of year that is most challenging. I get to celebrate the anniversary of my accident AND I get to look back and see what I’ve lost. This year is no different.

I have loved all of the time I have spent outside in the gorgeous weather AND there have been times where I just wanted to stay in bed (for days). I enjoy looking back and seeing all that I have accomplished. I enjoy taking that journey with Emily. AND, it is really hard. I cannot pretend that I haven’t lost along the way. I am confronted with the good and the bad of my experiences. It is an emotional rollercoaster.

I have my most difficult time when I look in the rearview mirror AND I see the value in occasionally looking back. I know there are lessons to learn from my past AND continuing to wade around in it starts to get to me. I cannot avoid my past AND I can’t wallow in it.

If I didn’t spend some time looking backward, I would miss the lessons I continuously learn from that journey. AND, if I spend too much time looking to the past, I miss the joy of right now. I miss the ability to use what I have right now to create my future.

I know that looking back is hard. I know that when I do so, I have intense emotions. I am not afraid of my intense emotions. AND, I need to ensure they don’t consume me. I will give myself some time to look back AND then I will focus on the joy of right now.

Often we think that we cannot feel sadness and joy at the same time, but both can be true, and most often both are. We can understand our losses AND feel appreciation for what we’ve learned. Both can be true.